I'm up earlier than usual, meticulously executing my morning tasks, closing every task with a hairwidths amount of buffer, I'm not gonna be late to work today... Except there's one MAJOR impediment in my planned path of execution... I need fuel... So I brush my teeth in my shorter than usual morning shower, skip my shave and miss my breakfast, every second counts... I not gonna be late to work today... I have training after work, so I bundle my uniform, water and workbag in a fell swoop through my room, finishing with a cartwheel over my steering wheel and car keys, adding them to my inventory... I'm not gonna be late for work today... I sprint to my car, crispy cool from the morning dew, and spark up her ignition, I return to lock down the house as she idles out her slumber... I'm not gonna be late for work today... Then we trot to the local Shell servo... IMPEDIMENT... It's Wednesday, cheap fuel so there's a massive queue... I look at my phone... 7:33... 7:34... 7:35... 7:36... 7:37... 7:38... Funny how it seems whichever queue I join when I'm in a rush, I seem to choose the slowest one... Finally I get a bowser, Fill her up with some V, then we are off, 7:44 as we punch down the main road, like a footy player faking a pass then dodging a tackle, we sprint and ballet throught the overtoning drone of road cars doing 2,000 RPM and 70km/h, autopiloting towards another day's productivity... My car sings and squeals, sneezing at the height of every high note and on the challenge of every fat arsed moving roadblock... We skip, dance and charge towards our destination, and we finally arrive... 8:00, not much time left... It's dense here, All the spots near the station are filled, I'll have to try the strip that latecomers frequent... As I pull in, it's filled with little metro cars zipping around in 7 point turns collapsing into a spot on the common side of the road... I really don't wanna be late to work... So I thang it up the street... What do I see? A spot? It is! BUT! Oncoming cars! No! It's mine! I rev her up and she sings a note most praiseworthy! I Jerk the steering wheel to starboard bringing her nose in, oncomers are baffled! "What is he doing?!"... "He's gonna crash into the gutter!"... Alas! jumping off the gas she squeals out at pitch that'll shatter diamonds!
...
...
Bullet time... The eerily familiar... The zone in which one makes or breaks... The sound of strapping wind now but a condescending drone... The faces of the oncoming... unchanging, fixed on confused...
Like a wise blind man familiarly reaching for his walking stick, my left hand cuddles the ebrake shaft...
blink...
like a gas fed rifle, cocking into the firing position, my left leg linearly disengages the clutch...
heartbeat...
the ebrake get's called into action with the heart of a zealot.
SCRAWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!
+ an unexpected squeal
As eerily as bullet time crept up, it reciprocally snaps as way... The car pivots around it's front 2 wheels, smoke pluming into my window, I even get a bit of road debris in my eye, then silence as the car is now parked, and idling... Fat and happy, smiling and sly, I disengage the steering wheel, remove the key and grab my inventory... Happy she idles away as I walk off, passerby's and motorists gobsmacked with jaws dropping down to their laps... I skip to the station... Fat... Happy...
I get to the stairs and have an old lady turn around and look me in the eye... She reminds me of Mrs. Horvath, a primary substitute teacher that used to torture us by spending hours on end doing spelling exercises...
"Was that absolutely necessary?"
Oh... I see, she must've been the 'unexpected squeal'... What do I say to her?
"Yes ma'am my brakes are boken so that's how I get around"
Smug bastard
"Well get it fixed you... You... JERK"
And I skip away onto the platform... I made it! with a few minutes to spare! Victory!
But what is this? This nagging voice in my head... Well as I'm writing this I realise, that my response was a bit uncalled for... Really I should have apologised and told the lady the truth... perhaps something more like "I'm sorry ma'am I'm really late and sorry to have frightened you, but I've done courses which teach me how to park like this... I really apologise, I feel really bad for frightening you" would have been a bit more appropriate and truthful. Well let's just say this then... If I ever see her again, how about I apologise to her for my conduct today? There's a deal... I may be parking there again soon, should I come across this old lady... I shall apologise for my smug response today, and for frightening her.
But gosh that was cool...
Sent from my iPhone
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